Discernment Counseling

Are you or your spouse considering separation or Divorce?

  • You're at a crossroads in your relationship, not sure if you want to stay married.
  • You're desperate to save your marriage and fear it's too late.
  • Prior attempts at saving your marriage failed to make significant, lasting change.
  • You feel stuck in an impossible situation and wish you could find a clear path forward.

If you’re uncertain about the future of your marriage considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path? Discernment counseling can help.

Discernment Counseling is a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at all options for your marriage before making a final decision about divorce.


What is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where, one person is “leaning out” of the relationship – and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help–and the other is “leaning in” – that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.


The Goal of Discernment Counseling is for each of you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.

The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.

I will help you decide on a direction for your marriage:

  • Path 1: Work to restore your marriage to health through couples counseling with separation and divorce off the table.
  • Path 2: Move toward separation or divorce
  • Path 3: Take a time out and decide later.

First Steps:

I will schedule a 15-minute phone consultation with each spouse in order to get to know each of you and figure out how we can work together.

How does the process work:

You will come in as a couple for each appointment. Each session consists of time with the three of us together and time for me to meet with each of you individually. But the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor.

The counselor emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.

How many sessions are there?

Discernment Counseling is brief and time limited. It is a maximum of five counseling sessions. The first session is usually two hours and the subsequent sessions are 1.5 or 2 hours.


Discernment Counseling is not Suited for these situations:

  • When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
  • When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
  • When there is danger of domestic violence