Frequently Asked Questions
It takes courage to reach out for help. I know it’s not easy to admit your marriage is struggling. That’s why I want to make this process less stressful. I’ve worked with lots of couples over the years who have felt that exact same way and after the first session say “that wasn’t so bad”.
The first step is to schedule a free 30 minute Relationship Breakthrough call. If after talking we decide it’s a good fit we can go ahead and schedule your first session.
Initially, I will meet with you and your partner/spouse for the first session to talk about the challenges in your relationship and what you hope to accomplish. Then I will meet with each of you individually. The remaining sessions are with you as a couple.
It’s understandable that you want to improve your relationship as quickly as possible, no one wants to feel the pain of a troubled relationship. However, the process of building a better relationship is one that requires time and patience.
Marriage coaching is an investment in the most important relationship in your life. An investment in creating a better future for yourself and your partner.
The short answer is that every relationship is different and therefore the amount of time will vary. It depends on how long you’ve been together or how long you’ve been stuck and how motivated you are.
Creating new relationship behaviors, patterns and habits takes time. It took you awhile to get to this point so it’s important to have realistic expectations and know that there is no quick fix.
To get the most benefit I like to work with couples a minimum of 90 days. Meeting weekly at a consistent day and time is the quickest way to gain momentum and experience progress. This will give you the best chance of making progress quickly. We can reevaluate after that to make a plan. Some couples may find that is enough, others may want to continue on.
Sessions focus on helping you identify the patterns, thoughts and behaviors in the relationship that are keeping you stuck and work together to develop skills to change those patterns. Sessions do not focus on the fight of the week but rather practicing new skills to manage your conflicts differently.
The foundation of our work together comes from you identifying the kind of relationship you want to create. With a focus on the kind of marriage you want to be in, I will help you identify what it will take from each of you to get there.
I am an active participant in each session and I will interrupt unhelpful patterns and critical or blaming dialogue in the session.
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. We will not be working on making conflict go away but rather, Marriage Coaching will help you find a better way to manage these conflicts and differences. The process is not just about solving problems but about teaching you new skills to manage your differences in a productive way.
Coaching is an active process. I will offer feedback and coach you in the session when I see you getting stuck.
Creating a better relationship is about doing little things everyday to develop new habits that help you create a stronger more satisfying relationship.
Making changes will require you to actively work outside of the session in your day to day life, not just in the 50 minutes we have together weekly. It will take time, commitment and patience
This is an understandable concern. But rest assured couples coaching is about building a better relationship between you. It take 2 people to create the cycle you’re in and it take 2 to create a new cycle of positivity.
So although I don’t take sides, it may at times feel like I am. That’s because I will at times be working with each of you during the session to coach you on the areas I notice you needing to work on. I like to think of it as challenging you in the areas you need to grow in to help improve the relationship. But I also encourage you to speak up if you feel like my approach is not working for you.
Choosing a someone to help you with your marriage is an important decision. You are looking for someone to help you with your most important relationship. You want to know you are working with someone well qualified.
Something you may not know is that most therapists or counselors are not trained to provide couples counseling. Make sure if you are seeking couples counseling from a therapist that you inquire about their training with couples.
At My Marriage Works my practice focuses exclusively on helping couples heal and save their relationship.
I’ve trained in the top models of couples counseling. I participate in ongoing training through the couples institute of CA, and seek bi monthly individual consultation to support my work with couples. I invest in my own ongoing coaching so I can provide the highest standard of support for my clients.
As a coach, I do not contract with insurance companies.
Insurance companies require that the service provided is medically necessary. What that means is you must have symptoms that meet criteria for a psychiatric diagnosis.
When I am working with you and your marriage the focus of treatment is on the relationship, improving communication and learning new skills. This does not meet criteria for a mental illness diagnosis.
This also ensures privacy and the insurance company does not dictate how often and for how long I can see you.
What is your Marriage worth? It may seems expensive but it’s less expensive than the price you pay to stay unhappy or the price you pay to get divorced.
It is an investment in you and your most important relationship.
If you’re ready to invest in yourself and your future happiness, book a free 30 minute Relationship Breakthrough call today to see how I might be able to help you.